Are you ready? The next step always seems far scarier than it actually is. At this point, you have done the work and the reflection so now its time to do! If you haven’t come to this point yet, it’s ok. It can take years before you know what the change you want to make actually is. But for the sake of this month’s series, we are at the last phase and its all about taking action.
Now, the journey we call life is full of twisting roads. So, don’t be miffed if there are setbacks. Nothing in life that is worth it comes easy. It just may take a little bit of experimenting before you get what you want.
Remember, creativity brings development. So instead of thinking a no as a concrete no. Think of it more as a “not right now.” Or a not with them. Most people don’t get in through the front door. They have to find a crack in the window somewhere to get in.
Finding that entryway means that you are going to have to do a lot of communicating. Start talking with your friends and family about what you want to accomplish. They may know of resources that you may have never thought existed. Tap into your network and with time, you can tap into their network and so on and so forth. The more you talk the more likely you are to find what you need. People, in general, will more likely want to help than not. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
For those introverts out there, this may be harder. But think of it this way, you are there to connect with people in a genuine way about a topic that you are passionate about. You are not trying to use them to get something. Especially, when you don’t even know what they have. Take it in small steps. When you go to an event, make a goal of how many people you want to talk with or how many business cards you want to hand out. Sometimes, thinking about accomplishing the smaller step is easier than thinking about trying to achieve the end result.
By taking action, at least a little every day, you are going to start seeing changes, and not just movement in where you want to go but in who you are. What you thought was big and intimidating when you were only reflecting on making a change will seem like peanuts compared to what you are trying to do now. It’s important to keep moving and not to get too comfortable. Know that in the discomfort development and progress evolves. If we all stay in the same place because of fear or for another excuse that we make for ourselves, we always end up dissatisfied.
As the saying goes, it is better to have tried and lost than to have never tried at all.
When you are older and you are looking back at your life, do you want to think about all the what-ifs? Or should have dones? Do you want to have those types of regrets as you look back on your life?
Fear of Failure
Even in failure, we still come out with a story about what we did. Life is easier if we do nothing. But it will never be fulfilling? If you don’t follow your personal values, life will feel like a prison instead of an open field. You will never feel that you have full control over life.
So what other choice do we have after all this self-exploration than to simply try and see where it leads us. Don’t worry about what others say. There will always be people who don’t believe in what you want for yourself. There will always be people that say that they are in agreement and then make covert suggestions to try to take you off course. Your dream is not their dream just like their dream is not your dream. And that’s ok. We don’t need to want or be the same to be good and loving people.
The easiest way to take action is to schedule and create a habit. If you want to be healthier, then schedule when you go to the gym and then do it. You get up and go to work every day because you need to pay your bills. Now, get up every day because you value yourself first and you need to be taken care of. If you want to be a writer, then schedule yourself to write 30 minutes every day. You may not feel inspired and write complete garbage at times but the wheels are turning in your mind. You made it an expectation to be creative. Therefore, you will be creative. By putting yourself out there more and more, you grow a thicker skin through consistent exposure to the fear.
If you are feeling resistance or push back on the journey of doing something. Check out the book, the War of Art by Steven Pressfield. He wrote an entire book about how we can get through blocks and the importance of why we need to! Every time you get to one of these blocks go back and reflect on your values and why you started this journey in the first place. Go back and review those goals that you wrote down so long ago. Remember, your why. That will be the most important drive pushing you further. Most of us in this life, won’t know when it’s about to end. Don’t wait until its too late to start.
If you have gotten this far in your self-exploration, then you know that not starting will hurt you more than not. It is easier to be in the audience watching out onto the arena than in the arena itself. Don’t let the fears of others stop you. Don’t let life standards of others stop you. You were not born to be the personal bank account or pension plan for anyone else. You are the one to set your boundaries and to honor them. The most important person to keep your promise is to yourself.
And by the way!
My name is Tara. I am a licensed clinical social worker who provides online counseling services in the state of Illinois. This blog post is not therapy and should not be used as a substitute for therapy. If you are interested in a free 15 consultation with me, click here!
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